Three Reason Why Marcus Aurelius is BAE

     Ladies, are you tired of men and their nonsense? Isn’t being ignored or misunderstood getting old? Look at your man. Now look back at me. Now look at your man. Now back at me. I’m on a horse. But wait… It’s not me at all. I’m suddenly Marcus Aurelius, Emperor hunk of Rome, sitting atop his steed, waiting to ride into battle and win your heart. Look at his dreamy eyes. You know he would never treat you wrong. Buckle up your seatbelts because I’m about to give you three reasons why Marcus Aurelius is the ultimate BAE.

1.He wasn’t overly emotional

There is nothing worse than your man being in a bad mood over his favorite sports team losing. Absolutely nothing. Tell the starving kids over in Africa to suck it up because they have not really struggled until they’ve experienced their BAE going from manly lumberjack to sniveling baby over the course of an inning. Not only is this super unattractive, but this emotional rollercoaster can also affect your plans of shopping or going out to dinner. So, you need to find someone who doesn’t get too emotional. Enter Marcus. He’s a firm believer that people are “not to be driven this way and that, but always to behave with justice and see things as they are.” (4.22) You see, Marcus isn’t interested in riding an emotional rollercoaster. His priority is keeping a level head, which means your plans of familiarizing yourself with Target’s newest fall line won’t be derailed.     

2. He embodied the “YOLO” mentality

            How many times have you heard your man complain about his retirement fund? That is like the opposite of hot. It’s practically freezing. They get so wrapped up in the unknowable future that they forget to treat you right while they have the chance, but you can’t wait around forever. You need someone like Marcus, aka your new and improved boyfriend, who realizes that time is short and that each second should be spent wisely. If you make him your new BAE, you’ll be spending your date nights at the Cheesecake Factory with someone who once wrote, “Not to live as if you had endless years ahead of you. Death overshadows you. While you’re alive and able – be good.” (4.17) He’s not going to let some silly, little fear of the future stop him from treating you right.

3. He doesn’t care what other people think

            It is so frustrating when you are out to dinner with your boo thang and you run into a bunch of his “bros.” Things are going great. He’s being sweet and holding doors open for you, but as soon as he sees Brad from Kappa Sigma Phi, all manners go out the door. Instead of being proud of his drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend and flaunting the fact that you two get couple manicures, he’s suddenly devolving into a Neanderthal and grunting about his fantasy football team. You’re left staring at this buffoon and wondering why you ever made him your Man Crush Monday. With Marcus, you don’t ever have to worry about him treating you poorly to make his frat bros proud. Marcus is known for not wasting “time here worrying about other people – unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful.” (3.4) And to Marcus Aurelius, “doing anything useful” means treating you like the empress you are.

            Those men that you have been dating have really been boys. It’s time to upgrade to Marcus BAErelius, the ultimate dream boat. When you date a stoic, you know that you’ll get the strong, silent type. He won’t get wrapped up in the rankings of his fantasy football game or what his bros think of him spoiling you. Ditch your current boyfriend for a man like Marcus, who will always treat you right.